After a period of intense ministry and mountain top experience, Elijah found himself running for cover. This servant, told of in the Old Testament, felt alone, exhausted, and depressed and looking for a place of safety. God found him the place, provided food and rest, and spoke to him in a still small voice and Elijah was restored. In our last newsletter, we also mentioned that a minister is always in need of safe people to turn to and safe places to find rest. Whether you are a minister or a layperson in the church, I imagine that we also have the same need. How do we know who is safe? What defines a safe person and how do we find them? I think that I am safe to say that by bringing clarity to what I am looking for, I will increase my odds of finding it.
I think that safe places are always safe because of the safe people that lead it, so I am going to focus my attention on describing the qualities that are a part of what makes a person safe. I think that a high quality on anyone’s list is finding someone who is trustworthy, someone who will keep confidential anything that we share with him. We are told in the Bible to share one another’s burdens, and we are less likely to share our burden with someone prone to gossip. A loose tongue can bring him great harm to a person and in time a whole congregation, so I must be careful whom I talk to, especially if I am a leader in the church. A safe person will always have a reputation of being trustworthy.
A safe person is also a person that loves with a godly love, not just with lovely sounding words. They will find the kind of person that even if they have some hard things to say to us, they will speak that truth in love. If they hear something negative about us, they will give us the benefit of doubt when approaching us. They will be quick to listen and slow and objective when they speak to us. Even if we fail in some way, they will be quick to extend mercy and grace. Hopefully they will be looking for ways to encourage and benefit us not just take advantage of what we have to give them. A loving person will feel safe because we can be “real” with them.
A safe person is also a person that represents peace to us, a safe harbor in the time of a storm. There are times in our lives when painful things have happened to us and we need to have someone, and we need to have someone that will just listen to us; someone that will not find it necessary to give us advice when none is needed. Especially in times after the loss of a loved one, it seems that a lot of people feel the need to just talk with little thought to just listening. A safe person is one who listens as a way of bringing healing.
It is not easy to find safe people to build a relationship with, but it is important to keep looking until we find them, and then do what is necessary to maintain a relationship with them It is also good for all of us to consider how we can be that safe person for someone else. Once we have identified the safe people in our lives, we will derive a benefit from them in direct proportion to how much we are willing to risk being open with them.
Dale Frimodt Founder & Executive Director of Barnabas Ministries.
