Have you ever shared something personal with a friend only to have them say something hurtful in return? Maybe they offered advice when you needed affirmation. Maybe they didn’t really listen and identify with your story. Fining safe people who will accept you without judgement but still challenge you to grow can be a challenging task. Safe people are not easy to find, especially if you’re a pastor, and the only way to know if they are truly safe is to risk vulnerability.

Here are some characteristics according to John Townsend and his book, “People Fuel.”

The Kingdom Partnership in its years of serving church leaders and pastors has learned that the greater percentage speak about not having a “safe” person to turn to.

Try using the following characteristics if you’re searching for that person.

Acceptance – Connection without judging you.

Attunement – Awareness of what you are experiencing and responding to it.

Validation – Affirming the significance of your experience.

Identification – Shares a similar story from their life with you.

Comfort – Provides support for your grief and loss.

Encouragement – Coneys belief in you.

Respect – Values you for who you are.

Forgiveness – Willing to overlook or cancel a debt when wronged.

Perspective – Offers you a different viewpoint (without attack).

Insight – Helps you to find a deeper understanding of the problem.

Challenge – Strongly recommends you take a different direction.

Service – Guides you back and engage with others.

Now it’s not likely you’re going to find someone with all these characteristics. But, it is probable there’s someone out there who comes close.

I was very fortunate during my time in the ministry to have two men I could always go and lean on no matter what the challenge. Both listened well, thought about where I was and what it was, and then gently brought me to a place where I knew I wasn’t alone.

And if you need some direction and a listening ear please contact Shepherd’s Care at The Kingdom Partnership. You’ll find help there and a brother to walk alongside you.

Have a great rest of the week. Praise the Lord, Lean on Him, and Trust He’s right there for you.

The Kingdom Partnership

www.thekingdompartnership.us

402.297.6876 / RDCreek@cox.net